on lies and being enough

Recently, I looked at one of my daughters after a particularly shining moment, and told her “you are so brave and so beautiful!”

She responded, without a hint of hesitation or doubt, “I know!”

I laughed, and then was instantly hit with the reality that this daughter of mine lives with more confidence in her pinkie finger than I do in my whole being.

I’m going to be raw here and say that I’ve struggled this summer. I’ve struggled daily to believe good things about myself. Strongholds that I thought I was breaking free from seem to have tightened their grip on me. God has gifted me to be a woman who encourages – and while I find it very natural to tell others they are beautiful, loved, talented, great mothers, wonderful wives, etc, I struggle deeply to believe any of these things about myself. It does not come naturally to me to feel in the depths of myself that these things are also true about myself.

“Enough” is a word that has been swirling around in my head in the last few weeks. I haven’t felt strong enough to live freely, bold enough to lead, cool enough to be included, thin or pretty enough to be considered beautiful, spiritual or patient enough to guide my children, and so on and so forth. In my head, I know these “not enoughs” are lies from the enemy. But my heart struggles to play catch up to my mind.

This past spring, I read “You Are Free” by Rebekah Lyons, and I loved every word of it. She speaks of allowing God to use your struggles for His glory, and living in the freedom that He says we already have because of Him. Reading her story changed things for me. In her book, she says “Your enemy is dead – so silence the lies in your head”. This is how I need to strive to live. So I’m praying for boldness to be confident in the words of truth I know He has spoken over me. Brave enough to allow him to use my struggles and burdens for His purposes.

I am ENOUGH simply because He says I am. Because He made me to be free and wants me to live in that freedom. There is nothing I can do that can add to or take away from His love for me. Romans 8:6 says:

“The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace”. (NIV)

That verse has held deeper meaning for me lately, and I’ve felt God calling me let his Spirit invade my life more and more – to allow himself to transform and renew my mind.

I am sharing these struggles because one of the things I know with true certainty is that vulnerability breeds community. It builds a longer table. It crosses boundaries, and the simple phrase “me too!” can break down walls where keeping words and feelings captive cannot.

My prayer is that these words encourage even one person today to step out in boldness. To know that if you’re struggling with the same types of lies, caught in a similar wheel of comparison…if you’re feeling like your joy is being stolen- that there is more for you. More for me. More for all of us. I’m praying that the same love God speaks over me is being felt deeply by you also – even in the midst of struggle and difficulty. We’ve loved more than we can possibly know. Let’s start living like it!