on self care being really darn hard

I sat in the lobby of the building my counselor works out of this morning, breathing a deep sigh of relief that I’d made it to my appointment.  It may not seem like a big deal – to make it to a simple appointment But you see; this was the third attempt I’d had to make this visit happen. Two bouts of illnesses running their course through our home had started to make me feel like I should just give up on counseling altogether. But, the stars aligned today for me to get there. My girls went back to school after three consecutive snow days (for the love!), I spent thirty minutes defrosting and scraping off my van in weather that made me seriously question my decision to live in Canada, and I drove my son to a new friend’s house to be looked after. I’d even managed to arrive a few minutes early. Deep in contemplation, I found myself thinking, “self care is really darn hard!”.  While I really do think the attention that is being drawn to the self care movement is a positive thing, what people will rarely tell you is that self care is often not very fun. It’s not very easy. It’s not very convenient. It takes an incredible amount of courage to book a counseling session for the very first time. It takes a lot of careful planning, childcare arrangements, and money for a tired mama to book a massage for herself. It takes work to push past feelings of guilt or inadequacy. It may also take a lot of trial and error to figure out what form of self care will best serve you, and in turn, those who are in your circle of influence. A bubble bath simply isn’t going to cut it for me (but if that’s your thing, go for it!) Self care sounds easy in theory, and I think media plays into this a bit.  And when it feels hard, in the middle of your actual life, feelings of guilt for it not being “easy” can threaten to creep in and thwart efforts towards forward motion.

During my session, I shared with my counselor the thoughts that had been swirling about self care. She agreed, and summed up my feelings by saying “its true – putting on your own oxygen mask is rarely fun, but ALWAYS NECESSARY in order for you to breathe”. I loved that a relative stranger was able to so beautifully validate all of what I’d been feeling. All of this is to say – while self care can be really darn hard, it’s so very worthwhile. The days when I show up for my life in the way I know I can are the days when I serve my family and those around me best.  Give yourself and the One who gives you strength SO much credit for taking small, meaningful steps in caring for your mental, emotional, and physical well being. Cheer yourself on for lacing up your shoes when you want to stay in bed. For asking for help when shame and exhaustion tell you not to.  Because it’s not easy – and don’t ever let anyone tell you that it is. Not a single ounce of your efforts are ever wasted. He sees you. I see you. Keep fighting the good fight. Running your race, even if it's one slow inch at a time. It all matters. Every bit of it.